Lehman - Represent Consumers

The Marx Brothers' Guide to Financial Reform

“Who you gonna believe, me or your own eyes?” asks brother Chico in the madcap classic “Duck Soup.”

It’s the middle of the night in the imaginary European nation of Freedonia. Chico has disguised himself in a scheme to convince a skeptical wealthy widow, the country’s major creditor, that he’s actually the country’s newly elected president (Groucho) to get her to hand over Freedonia’s top secret war plans.

The trouble is Chico’s Italian accent.

And Harpo. He’s disguised himself as Groucho too. And of course there’s Groucho. Three Grouchos. Who’s the real one?

Chico’s line reminds me of the not so funny antics of the Obama administration and our political leadership in their various efforts to convince us that financial system should be left intact and that reform should just be left up to the same regulators who colluded in creating the economic crisis and protecting big bankers’ interests.

That’s essentially what our leaders have proposed, wrapping themselves in the disguise of real reformers.

We may have been blinded for a while by the riches the bankers were offering us, but we can see clearly now what they were: a gaudy mirage.

If we didn’t get it when the economy crashed, we get it now, after we toted up the bill from the unsavory wreckage of Lehman Brothers and Washington Mutual, as well as the expense from the equally unappealing survival of Goldman-Sachs.

It’s plain to see that if any bank presidents lost their jobs they were handsomely compensated. None have been forced to face foreclosure or have had their unemployment or health insurance cut off.

The rest of us have a choice: believe our leaders or own eyes.

We understand what happened: the bankers got too big and powerful, got rid of all the rules, got greedy and brought the economy down – except for the part that kept churning out gargantuan bonuses to the financial titans.

We understand what we need to do, too: break up the big banks, curtail their power and wall off their gambling games from the economy the rest of us have to live in.

But the leadership that’s trying to control the debate seems hopelessly out of step with the country.

Not all the politicians are as clueless as the leaders. In fact, more than a dozen senators have signed on to what not long ago would have been considered a radical proposal – to audit the Federal Reserve. It already passed through the House by a wide margin.

This terrifies the administration, which doesn’t want any more details leaking out about the favors the Fed has been granting the big banks at public expense.

So the president’s chief of staff, former investment banker Rahm Emanuel, is working the phones. If the administration favored real reform, they’d be stiffening the politicians’ resolve against the massive bank lobbying intended to gut strong regulation. But instead, the president has sent Emanuel out to do the regulators’ bidding, to dissuade senators from voting for a Fed audit.

In the Senate, a handful of senators have proposed a stronger dose of reform than the administration and Democratic leadership have prescribed. But the Senate’s Democratic leaders are squeamish about even allowing their colleagues to debate these more robust proposals.

Meanwhile, the Republican leadership seems to be getting inspiration from the same Marx Brothers’ movie they’ve been glued to since Obama got elected – “Horse Feathers.” Rep. John Boehner and Sen. Mitch McConnell may not have any ideas of their own but they’ve managed to perfectly capture the spirit of the lead character, Samuel Quincy Wagstaffe (played by Groucho) in his opening number, “Whatever It Is, I’m Against It.”

The Marx Brothers’ wit and wisdom never go out of style but they’re especially timely now. They began their film careers satirizing the hysteria surrounding a real estate bubble: the Florida land boom in “Cocoanuts” in 1929. “You can get any kind of a house you want,” Groucho assures prospective buyers as he auctions off some land of dubious value. “You can even get stucco. Oh, how you can get stuck-o.”

While he poked fun at speculative investing, in real life Groucho was also a victim. He lost his savings in the 1929 crash. “Some of the people I know lost millions,” he quipped bitterly in his autobiography. “I was luckier. All I lost was two hundred and forty thousand dollars. I would have lost more, but that was all the money I had.”

One Would Hope

The head of President Obama’s Security and Exchange Commission went before Congress Wednesday to wring her hands about how the Lehman fiasco “raises serious concerns” about the effectiveness of post-Enron reforms.

“One would hope,” SEC chair Mary Schapiro told a congressional committee wanly, that the post-Enron Sarbanes-Oxley Act “would have prevented this kind of conduct.”

Eight years after Congress passed reforms that were supposed to prevent another Enron or WorldCom scandal, the Lehman mess reminds us how the government regulators and the accountants that are supposed to be vigilant watchdogs against destructive, deceptive bookkeeping continue to fail. They have remained in cahoots to ensure that the financial titans can ignore the rules and then evade the consequences for their bad and even fraudulent decisions.

According to the bankruptcy trustee’s scathing but sober 2,200 page report, Lehman used a financial maneuver known as Repo 105s, manipulating their financial reports disguise its bad debt from investors and the public as the company’s condition worsened before it finally went bankrupt, triggering the worst economic collapse since the Depression. The Repo 105 transactions secretly moved billions of dollars of debts off of Lehman’s books.

One would hope that President Obama and the Democrats would finally recognize in the Lehman debacle that while Wall Street chieftains like Lehman CEO Richard Fuld may indeed be masters of a universe, it’s an alternate universe far from our own.

In that alternate universe, the bankruptcy trustee’s report detailing his company’s accounting shenanigans actually absolves Fuld of responsibility for his company’s demise. He told the New York Post the report showed he did nothing illegal.

After all, Fuld was CEO, way too busy to be bothered with details like how his company was hiding $50 billion worth of bad debt. In Fuld’s alternative universe, the Sarbanes-Oxley requirement that CEO’s sign off on the accuracy of their company’s financial statements didn’t apply to him.

In that alternate universe, when a court-appointed bankruptcy states that Fuld “was at least grossly negligent,” that amounts to getting a seal of approval.

Though Fuld’s company declared bankruptcy, his own fortunes did not suffer in any sense that someone forced to live in this universe, rather than that alternative one, would recognize as suffering. Between 2000 and 2008, he took home $484 million. He left with a $22 million retirement package. In fairness to Fuld, that’s a paltry sum by Wall Street standards for the head of a failed firm. By comparison, Merrill Lynch’s Richard Prince was paid $166 million before he left.

Also in fairness to Fuld, he was not the only one whose conduct was criticized in the Lehman report. But in Fuld’s alternate universe, when the trustee found that Lehman’s accounting firm, Ernst & Young, failed to show professional standards of care, that amounts to an award for public service.

In that alternate universe, the little people are just incapable of understanding why it’s better for Lehman to have concealed its debt to make the firm look healthier while it was in fact going down the toilet in 2008.

And taking a big chunk of our economy with it.

While I and most others who are not Richard Fuld find grounds for at least a thorough criminal investigation rather than vindication in the Lehman trustee’s temperate prose, Fuld does have one point.

Everything that Lehman did to cook its books was done under the noses of federal regulators. So, Fuld insists that everything Lehman did was hunky-dory.

One would hope that the president and the Democrats would recognize that back here in the universe the rest of us live in, millions are suffering because of the deceit, arrogance and cluelessness of the bankers who seem to have escaped the meltdown with their wealth and power intact.

One would hope that if President Obama and the Democrats were serious about real reform, they would be making the Lehman report Exhibit One in an effort to discredit the financial lobbyists and their pals in Congress who are foiling efforts at sensible, robust regulation.

One would hope that the president and the Democrats would be determined to correct the mistakes of the past and not repeat them. One would hope the Lehman report would cure, once and for all, the president and the Democrats’ stunning lack of curiosity about how the financial industry blew up the universe we all live in. One would hope that the president and the Democrats wouldn’t find it acceptable to live in a universe where its masters aren’t accountable for their actions, but the rest of us are.